An Integrative Model of Divorce

Introduction

         An Integrative Model of Divorce is a conceptual framework for a multidisciplinary approach that addresses the complexity of the divorce process and attempts to reduce the negative impact on the individuals directly involved. The fact that divorce is not rare in our society does not mitigate the depth and breadth of its impact. It has been empirically demonstrated to be one of the most stressful and long-lasting experiences of one's life, and although divorce can trigger a profound sense of loss, we have lacked a clearly articulated, cohesive and constructive approach to it. The Integrative Model recognizes that divorce is much more than a legal issue, and puts the financial and personal needs of divorcing families at the center of the divorce process. A comprehensive framework is essential if individuals are to develop new rules of engagement with former partners, to achieve some measure of closure, and to transition to the next phase of their lives.

        For a variety of reasons, during a divorce neither partner may be inclined to trust and to collaborate with the other. Each is liable to be processing this experience very differently at a time when both are challenged to communicate and to make joint decisions, especially if they have children. A model that contains rather than exacerbates negative reactons is essential to achieving a workable solution. Given that most divorcing couples have minor children for whom long-range decisions need to be made and quality of life maintained, drawing on the capacity for collaboration is key to securing not only the best interests of each partner, but of their children as well.

        In the Integrative Model, divorce is conceptualized as a transition as well as a transaction. For an effective transition to be possible, appropriate resources are indispensable. One of the risks of the traditional litigation model is that it may actually exacerbate the harmful effects of divorce (e.g., a sense of rejection and inadequacy, anxiety, fear, hostility and despair) that undermine adaptive attitudes and behaviors. The adversarial nature of the traditional litigation model relies on counterproductive practices such as posturing, evasiveness, unremitting correspondence and frequent court appearances that render divorce time-consuming, expensive and more stressful than it needs to be.

        In contrast, the Integrative Model encourages clients to begin the divorce process by 1. addressing the most critical issues, which are usually personal and financial, 2. working with and learning from professionals with expertise in those fields, and 3. undertaking the legal aspects of the divorce once a constructive mindset has been established and has rendered the inevitable stress of the situation more manageable. Within this framework, productive alliances are more likely to be forged among all the relevant parties. Divorce management consultants (also known as divorce coaches) bring their expertise to bear in areas of communication, negotiation, stress management, child development and parenting. Financial consultants identify options for managing assets that take into consideration present and future financial needs as well as tax consequences. Clinical psychologists assess and treat symptoms of anxiety and depression, common in ongoing stressful situations, and increase client awareness about adapative responses in those situations. Business and real estate appraisers, pension plan specialists, estate planning attorneys and other experts are consulted if necessary. Only professionals who meet a specific client need are incorporated into the process, facilitating the development of a comprehensive yet streamlined and cost-effective divorce.

        Unlike the traditional litigation model that is defined by its adverarial tone and stance, the Integrative Model identifies and builds on the strengths of all parties involved. It draws on the skills of professionals with expertise in the areas relevant to each individual or family; these professionals are focused on educating and guiding clients to facilitate effective financial management, communication, negotiation, stress-management, co-parenting and overall decision-making. Such skills are invaluable not only during a divorce but long after it has been finalized. Disclosure rather than discovery (in the legal sense of procuring documents), dialogue rather than defensiveness, and creativity and cooperation rather than combativeness give rise to a constructive rather than destructive approach consistent with establishing a new family paradigm. In essence, the Integrative Model defines a framework that is not only pragmatic, but also potentially therapeutic and transformational.

Advantages

 

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